Wisdom in Unlikely Places
“But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.” 1 Cor 1:17
“A man saw a snake being burned to death and decided to take it out of the fire. When he did, the snake bit him causing excruciating pain. The man dropped the snake, and the reptile fell right back into the fire. So, the man looked around and found a metal pole and used it to take the snake out of the fire, saving its life. Someone who was watching approached the man and said: “That snake bit you. Why are you still trying to save it?” The man replied: “The nature of the snake is to bite, but that's not going to change my nature, which is to help.” Do not change your nature simply because someone harms you. Do not lose your good heart but learn to take precautions.” —from a friend
Last Sunday, I took my first chance on an individual (Jacob) in great need. The type of need that causes an individual to approach strangers and ask for money. We encounter people in need at nearly every parking lot throughout Kigali. It is always heartbreaking, but we have decided not to give in accordance with government policy, and mostly, because we cannot speak the language to understand the root cause of the need. But Jacob was different.
Most that approach do not know English other than the “give me money” or “I’m hungry.” Jacob, on the other hand, spoke English fluently, and instead of asking for money, he asked for work. This was clearly a different situation, and one that I might be of service or so I thought. I took his number with a commit to text later.
A few hours later I texted my new friend. In reply, I received his story, “My mother has passed, and my father is unknown. I have been studying at the university, but my sponsor died from diabetes. I cannot find work and I have no place to stay. Why has God taken away my greatest treasure education? I wish I was never born.”
Oh man. I am in now. There is no going back. I texted him some encouraging words, a few bible verses to consider, and a commitment to have lunch with him on Tuesday.
Tuesday rolls around and over a meal, Jacob shares the struggles of life. How everything was going great until the death of his mom and the death of his sponsor. His church family turned their back on him. He either sleeps on the street or in a temporary housing situation.
I ask him his last job and he shares teaching Kinyarwanda to expats. I ask if he can instead teach a Rwandan (Jean Paul our guard) English. He says no problem.
We depart with a commitment for him to come to our house on Friday to be interviewed by three ladies and to meet Jean Paul.
Jacob arrives on Friday and before he can get the job, he must pass the litmus test of three women that have a knack for sniffing out bad characters. First up Brooke. What does her intuition tell her? Anything unsettled in her spirit? Next, a thirty-minute conversation with our two Rwandan staff (Laetitia and Mary). Last, is a sit down with our guard to see if he wants to be taught by him.
Brooke tells me she doesn’t feel right about this guy being in our home. He makes her feel unsafe. Strike one. Mary says his story doesn’t add up. Strike two. Laetitia shares that his lack of ties to anyone is most likely a result of drug or alcohol abuse and as a result he is on the streets. She encourages me to be cautious in helping and to go slow. Strike three. No need to see what Jean Paul thinks at this point.
All the desires I had to see a breakthrough for my new friend Jacob vanish within an instance. The dreams I had for him finishing his degree, discovering the Father’s love, and raising a family went up in smoke (kind of amusing to write this out). In its place are thoughts like I have played the fool, taking a chance on someone and it ended up a disaster. How incredibly inadequate I am.
Net result: Brooke is upset with me for inviting this guy onto our property. Our staff probably think I am an idiot. And I have let down poor Jean Paul who now has a no hope of ever learning English. How foolish of me. I am so not equipped for helping in a cross-cultural reality. Might as well pack it up and head home. I realize this is an exaggeration of emotions but for those that know me well it will not come as a shock.
I decided to take to Facebook to see if I could validate any of Jacob’s story. I found his profile and discovered we have a mutual friend that is also our ministry partner. I share Jacob’s profile photo with our partner and ask for a reference check. What comes back is not pleasant.
Our partner has been actively pursuing Jacob for several years. He shares that they have been in contact with his supposed deceased mother in the last month, and rather than her being dead, she considers Jacob dead to the family. She last saw him a month ago whereupon he stole some valuable items from her. Our partner laments that every time he schedules an appointment with Jacob, he does not show up.
There you have it. Dubbed by my new friend. Lied to and taken advantage of. And all I wanted is for him to experience the love of Christ. To really know He is treasured by Him. But how ill equipped I am to for this situation.
The rest of Friday is spent in the dumps. I cannot see any good from the experience. Just confusion and frustration. I wanted to help. and yet in helping, I made my wife feel unsafe while totally misdiagnosing the patient. I didn’t get much sleep that night as I confronted my missteps.
Saturday, I roll out of bed for my morning run with another new friend Leonard. Leonard is a barber just up the street from our home. He is 25 years old, lost his dad when he was 6, but still has his mom (at least I hope that is his story). I first encountered Leonard when I ran past his shop, and he literally jumped out of his chair and started running with me. Since then, he runs with me every day four to six miles. He is always on time, always upbeat, and seems to absorb anything I share with him. On occasion, he attends church with us and has even cut our boys hair (which didn’t turn out so hot...apparently Caucasian hair is much different). He is a good friend and though he presumably has needs has not once asked for money.
On this morning, without knowing anything about Jacob, Leonard says to me “my dad used to tell me ‘a good friend leaves you with memories while a bad friend leaves you with lessons.” My jaw drops. That is it! Though I had some obvious missteps with Jacob not all is lost. My rush to help resulted in a great lesson – lessons that will serve me well as we participate in the Lord’s work here. And Leonard is the demonstration of a good friend. When the time comes for us to depart, I will have fond memories of running with Leonard and praying with him.
And how appropriate for the Lord to use a young Rwandan man to deliver this profound truth. In a world that so greatly values degrees and titles, here is a rather uneducated barber throwing down some deep wisdom at exactly the right moment.
In closing, it would be so easy to give up the fight and exit the arena due to my obvious inability to assess the situation. It would be easy to assume every person in need is just trying to bite me or take advantage of me. But my Lord continues to invite me into the arena. To stay in the fight. To not change my nature because I had one misstep. For He is more interested in who I am becoming than what I am doing. And assuming I have the humility to learn, the missteps are simply lessons in the classroom of life.
Lord Jesus, thank you for wisdom in unlikely places. Thank you for using those that world deem foolish and weak to speak deep truths that stand the test of time. Grant your servant a boldness in helping yet a wisdom to walk slowly with the help of our ministry partners in the presentation of the gospel. Be gloried in this work. Bring your Kingdom with power on earth as it is in Heaven. In the mighty name of Jesus Christ our Lord! AMEN